6 Actionable tips: How to make and maintain friendship with your kind

illustration picture @Forbes.com
Hello ladies, how are you doing? Good? Okay!
I'm doing just fine in case you're wondering.
So, in my last blog post I talked about why it's okay not to have legions or cliques of friends. which was the part one of this post, please read it here so that you can catch up on what I am writing about today. Thank you.

 As promised, that I was going to share 6 actionable tips on how you can make and maintain friendship with your kind. I have learnt that these tips work for me over the years in life.  I sincerely believe that they will work for you too, ladies.

Shall we begin!
We all know that friendship is a great bond to build with people. Well, in this case with your KIND.
Friends sometimes get to know us better than our siblings, they get to be so close to us that if the biological relationship is not revealed, one would not know.
I personally love great friendships that I can rely on any day, any time. After all, what is a girl without her BFF(s).

That being said, it's not easy to make good friends. hence, some fake friends. For some people, they weren't born social butterflies, they had to learn. I can relate, you are not alone. On the other hand, for some people, mingling is a talent. I adore such traits as well but either way, this post is for you. So get comfy because you are about to be impacted.

It's important that you make friends with your KIND because there is nothing as worst as being stuck with the wrong people in the wrong place where you don't belong. Instead of jumping for friendship with anybody either by reason of loneliness or for acceptance. I would suggest you FIND YOUR KIND AND BE WITH YOUR KIND. Friendship bonds built between you and your kind will be strong, filled with real love and  with a free flow of communication.

Just in case you don't understand why I keep emphasizing on the phrase -your kind. Let me explain briefly, your kind in this context means friends sharing the same or similar personality traits with you. Understood? Okay!

So whether you are still struggling with making friends with people of the same or similar personality traits with you or you are finding it hard to identify such  traits in your friend(s), please I advise you discover the traits of a good friend/friendship here in my last blog post. It will help you. Now that you are back here, welcome back. Here are;

6 Actionable tips on how to make and maintain friendships with your kind

Keep an open mind: friendship is not a business, therefore you shouldn't look at it as a profiteering business venture. It shouldn't just be based on what you stand to benefit from your friend. As much as your friend impacts you, without looking back, you should also return the favor as it is true that you receive more when you give.
In a nutshell, view friendship as an honest relationship formed between imperfect humans who don't expect so much from each other but do so much to help each other grow by impacting their lives tangibly or intangibly. When you have such mindset about friendship, you will develop great bonds with your KIND

Don't force friendships: you must first realise that everybody doesn't have to be your friend. Just like I said in my last blog post. Even when you find the qualities that you admire in a person, the person may not still welcome your friendship. It simply means that, that person is not your KIND or he/she is too blind to see the great personality you have. My dear, know your worth. When you meet these types of person(s), just walk away from them because if you force such friendship(s),you will likely end up as a pawn on a chess board a.k.a  the messenger who does the dirty jobs, the odd one in the clique, the list is endless but I won't go further. You know what I mean. 

Look for possible mutual traits: Like I always say, it's much easier to make friends with people that you share the same personality traits with, that way there will be less friction in the relationship. 
Be on the look out for exact or similar characteristics or habits that you both have in common. When your friend has a good and strong perceptions about life generally, then be rest assured that you will help each other grow. 

Wear a welcoming countenance: As for me, when I meet somebody for the first time and the person doesn't smile, or responds to my greetings harshly or reluctantly irrespective of whatever mood he/she was before my presence there or speaks rudely in a commanding tone, it scares me off and such countenance gives me the wrong impression about that person no matter how nice that person may be in the second approach. 
Remember, first impression matters a lot. So when you meet new people, be welcoming, be cheerful, say hello, give a compliment instead of staring at them. It's not flirting, it's called courtesy and you may even lighten up someone's day which can  lead to a great friendship. 

Be Supportive: Gone are those days when young women did not support each other. They were afraid of being out-shined by the other women. Now I have discovered that you shine more when you help light a fellow young woman's lamp. If you want to have a genuine friendship, you don't have to be stingy with ideas or opinions that could help another young woman get on her feet. Share your new discoveries, lessons in life with your friend(s) even when you think that your ideas may be stolen, you will be amazed at how intelligent your friend(s) can be with the useful recommendations they can give you. 
Appreciating and celebrating your friend(s) at each milestone in life is another way of showing support. This way, the person(s) is/are assured of friendship for life. 

Be less judgmental: remember when I said in point one that you should keep an open mind? It will help you here when your friend(s) fall short of expectations. Know that a good friend is one who doesn't desert a friend in times of troubles/mistakes. You don't have to join the rest of the world in judging your friend(s), be slow to anger but constructively and honestly correct or advice your friend(s) with the right choice of words. Remember that, if you judge a friend when he/she expected some comforting words of advice, you could cause more harm and end up being partly responsible for someone's pain. 

Till next time darlings. I sincerely appreciate all your support. Be fruitful, be happy and prosper.

 share your thoughts in the comment box 
What other ways do you make friends?
How do you maintain such friendships?

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    1. Jaja, thank you for reading. I'm glad you liked it.

  2. post brings back memories! I visited here as a teen and loved exploring

    1. Wow! Amar, you are welcome here anytime. Please feel free. Thanks for reading my writeup.

  3. Nice one dee. Especially this "friendship is not by force ".

    1. Eva, thanks for reading. Indeed we must choose our friends wisely.

  4. Nice post! Friends offer an awesome support group. Men just don't understand women!

    1. Ah! Christy, I like your honesty. Men can't understand women, so true. We definitely need for those days. Thank you for reading.

  5. Don't force friendships. I totally agree! There's nothing as devastating as forcing yourself on someone and getting rejected. Having the understanding that we can't be friends with everyone really helps.
    And there's nothing like when you have an amazing support system. It's even better when you choose to support others wholeheartedly even if you get nothing in return.
    Thanks for sharing, dear. To friendships that last!

  6. Indeed Precious, rejection is the worst that can happen to any human being. Cheers to friendships that last ma'am. Thank you for your contribution.