When I was in high school, I wanted to make friends with the bubbling girls on campus but it never possible because I was different. Not just that, but I was unique in my own ways. I always wondered why it came so natural for other girls to make friends easily with other people who were either their kind or not.
As for me, that aspect of my life—friendship didn't take such a swift ride. I was, most times the too quiet type, too shy, not always knowing the latest trends in the entertainment or fashion world to start up a conversation with in order to be a cool member of my group of "wanna bubblers".
One day, I learnt something that changed my whole view of friendship;
"friends are rare to come by but acquaintances come and go".
"a friend is one who knows your flaws yet loves you enough to correct you, accept you for who you are".
"a friend is one who turns a family member not by blood but by the moments, ties and love you have shared together"
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"a friend is one who loves you enough to tell you the truth, defend you behind your back and in your presence ".
"a friend is someone who cares, shares the same interest as you".
"a friend is someone who impacts your life with meaningful ideas/suggestions, always sharing thoughts on ways that you can improve your life".
"a friend is someone who makes sacrifices for you with little things".
Friendship based on these solid foundations can not be broken even after twenty years.
That is who a friend is!
I have realized that while you should have acquaintances, friendship is far more delicate and should be taken seriously and carefully between whom such bonds are being formed with. Hence today's blog post
5 Reasons why you should not make friends with everybody ( but with a few)
Not everybody is your kind: yes, people can never be the same. I agree! But finding your kind of person /people who shares similar interests and the same personality traits with you makes the friendship bonds less hassle free; free from argument, envy, bitterness, betrayal. Therefore strengthening the bonds of friendship that can stand the test of time and distance. SO, FIND YOUR KIND AND BE WITH YOUR KIND.
Not everybody wish you well: Not all friends have your best Interest at heart. That's why all that glitters is not gold. Some people come close to you to use you for their selfish interest by forming a fake friendship bond with you.
Maybe you have a striking personality that they admire (but not genuinely) or you just possess something that can be of value to them. So they get close to you and you with your purest intentions of friendship let your guards down, open a welcoming arm of friendship. Once they are done with you, leave you in awe of what the true meaning of friendship is.
Not all friends are goal/purpose driven: I strongly suggest that you keep off people who are not goal/purpose driven because such attitude is contagious. These are people who just believe in the "live and let's live" kind of life. People who only want to have fun in life without working hard for it, they don't believe in discovering their true paths and God's given purposes for their lives here on earth.
Such friends will not make sense of your dreams, passions, daily pursuits for success and fulfilment of your God's given purpose here on earth. They will always feel you are proving to be smarter than them or outshining them. These kinds of friends will hoard informations, ideas or advice that can benefit you.
Two is a crowd and more may be disastrous: I know you are wondering why. Have you ever observed the cliques of bffs? The catfights that go on within them, the gossips that transpired and was eventually revealed. I mean, the list is endless.
I once came across a quote that said "twenty friends can not be friends for twenty years". I agree with that because it's hard to keep up with too many friends, some you bid good bye to due to the attainment of certain level in the society, some you outgrow due to maturity in age, change in or adjustment of lifestyle or by reason of your realization of what friendship truly means. But having just one or two real friends who have stood and survive the test of friendship is more likely to survive the test of time and distance. Such friendship is worth maintaining.
Family is a delicate word: At the end of everything, it is only a real/good friend that can turn a family member. Not all people whom we call friends have a good reputation. Therefore, bringing them into your home as a family member will only get you worked up or into some serious troubles. Some friends just have unfamiliar traits that you just can't help but distance yourself from them. Some friends can forget their boundaries and go as far as crossing the lines; disrespecting your family's rules, values or traditions. Careful! Not every smile on a person's face is with the right intentions.
But when you find that friend that truly turns a sister or brother, only then can you call them "family".
Hints: next on the blog, I will be sharing a few tips on HOW YOU TO FIND YOUR KIND AND BE WITH YOUR KIND. So please watch this space and subscribe to this blog for new updates. Till then family, stay healthy and prosperous.
Share your thoughts with me in the comment box
What's your perception of friendship?
What qualities do you look for in a friend?
Do believe that 20 friends can remain friends for 20 year?
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Interesting article on friendship. Not everyone is meant to have too many friends, some people are different and that's acceptable.
ReplyDeletewww.zinnyfactor.com
Hi Zinny, thank you reading. I agree with you that not everyone is meant to have alot of friends. have a great week.
DeleteWhen I was in high school I learned quickly that I wasn't going to be one of those girls with a ton of friends. It was hard at the time, but those experiences taught me these same principles that you're teaching in this post!
ReplyDeleteWow! Nicole thank you for sharing. I'm glad that you can relate. I'm to see you again.
DeleteAmen sis!!! This was an awesome article. Everyone is not your kind. Say it again
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading, LaTasha.
DeleteI have always only had a few close friends--and we are all STILL friends! I'd rather have a few great ones than a lot of okay ones.
ReplyDeleteI love having a good friend too, Jessica. Thank you so much for reading.
DeleteI agree with this so much. My circle is more of a line if you will. I am okay with that. Nothing wrong with keeping things tight and small.
ReplyDeleteYou said it all. Tight and small is the word. I love you view. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteI sooo agree with you on this. I'm very selective as to who I call friend.
ReplyDeleteYes girl. A friend is a treasure. Thank you for reading.
DeleteGreat article on things we don't often talk about. Some people are in our lives just for a short season. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much reading, Elinam. I'm glad it helped.
DeleteI totally agree with you.my perception of a friend is a person who cries and laugh with me, shares same motivation n aspirations to be successful,who I can confide in n won't lead me astray. N remember that less is more #friends.
ReplyDeleteEva, I agree with you. You should not be on the opposite ends with your friends. I appreciate your candid opinion. Thanks for reading.
DeleteSome really great points, I've definitely learnt as the years have gone in that certain situations reveal who our true friends are. It's ok to remove toxic friends too. Really interesting read, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYes Sarah, time and events tell it all. Thanks for contributing. I hope you come back for more.
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ReplyDeleteInteresting post, totally honest... I like. I am like you were in school, totally laid back and wishing to be like the other girls but this post has helped me in the aspect of that.
ReplyDeleteUtibeno, thank you for reading. I'm glad you found this post useful.
DeleteI agree! Acquaintances leave during hard times, but real friends stay. Cherish them!
ReplyDeletewww.printablesandinspirations.com
Exactly, real friends stay forever. Thanks for reading, Mae
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